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starduchessTitle: Ultimatum
Author:starduchess
Pairings: Snape/Minerva
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 168
Warnings: humor
Summary: Minerva gives Severus an ultimatum to wash his hair with muggle anti-lice shampoo or else.
A/N: I couldn’t resist this prompt from Severus Fest. It just screamed to be written. :) Quick once-over by K; thank you!
“No, I absolutely refuse!”
“But, Severus, your headlice infestation is magically resistant! We’ve already tried every possible spell and they aren’t leaving.”
“Then maybe you could try a wish or two.”
“We could just remove your hair. That would eliminate the egg sacs, and I could squash the little buggers with my fingers.”
“You are not touching my head!”
“Well, something has to be done. You are a danger to this school.”
“How is my follicle hygiene any business of yours anyway?”
“As the Headmistress, I demand that you wash your hair with the Muggle shampoo provided until the problem is resolved. We wouldn’t want one of those insects falling into a cauldron and causing a nasty explosion, would we?”
“I always protect my cauldron while brewing. Hair nor lice would fall in.”
“Then you leave me no option but to withhold intercourse. I’m not touching you with those things in your hair.”
“....”
“Fine.”
“Good. Get to work.”
--
“Professor, your hair looks … whispy.”
[mumbling] “Rotten little buggers.”
--
Author:
starduchessPairings: Snape/Minerva
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 168
Warnings: humor
Summary: Minerva gives Severus an ultimatum to wash his hair with muggle anti-lice shampoo or else.
A/N: I couldn’t resist this prompt from Severus Fest. It just screamed to be written. :) Quick once-over by K; thank you!
“No, I absolutely refuse!”
“But, Severus, your headlice infestation is magically resistant! We’ve already tried every possible spell and they aren’t leaving.”
“Then maybe you could try a wish or two.”
“We could just remove your hair. That would eliminate the egg sacs, and I could squash the little buggers with my fingers.”
“You are not touching my head!”
“Well, something has to be done. You are a danger to this school.”
“How is my follicle hygiene any business of yours anyway?”
“As the Headmistress, I demand that you wash your hair with the Muggle shampoo provided until the problem is resolved. We wouldn’t want one of those insects falling into a cauldron and causing a nasty explosion, would we?”
“I always protect my cauldron while brewing. Hair nor lice would fall in.”
“Then you leave me no option but to withhold intercourse. I’m not touching you with those things in your hair.”
“....”
“Fine.”
“Good. Get to work.”
--
“Professor, your hair looks … whispy.”
[mumbling] “Rotten little buggers.”
--